journal of an "Old flame X"

    

 Little did I know I had probably been led to the men’s restroom for a reason.
“That’s quite a catch you’ve got there.’ I recognized the voice as his ‘’lustful’’ friend. That was the tag I could place on him because everything he said made me want to throw up and I had to censor some of the words he said.
           He was a best pal of the “F** word and I wondered how Danny could move with someone so filthy and perverse
It was right there and then i understood these saying... "birds of the same feather flocked together.''
“so, how hot is she?’’
“she’s a rookie.’ Danny scoffed and I felt a cold chill go down my spine
“wow..that’s rare these days…is she for keeps?
“Well, that depends. I mean she has potential and I can tell she’s still a virgin but with a little tug and push, she’ll come up. By the time I’m through with her, you’ll be begging to have her too.’’
“Wow, hear the master speak!”
“Give them a little appetizer and they stay begging for more. I can’t help it when women can’t resist me.’’
“Mr. endowed!’’ the tap turned open and I could hear the lustful friend washing his hands. “When you finally succeed in having sex with her, don’t forget to spill the beans.''
“You know me, the legend continues and the other guys won’t give me a break till I give them the full gossip.”
        I placed a hand over my mouth to prevent myself from shouting and with double strength I held on because I knew if I lose self-control, I would rush out and rain my fists on him.
I heard them chuckle and leave together and I didn’t know when the tears came unbidden. I wanted to go home. I desperately wanted to go home but I didn’t have the courage to. I just wanted to fall on someone and cry all I could till I couldn’t cry anymore.
            What was worse, my bag was with Danny and I knew if I should get the courage and strength to go for it, I would get it and use it to smack the living day light out of him. And as for his friend, I would enjoy seeing him choke on his beer or I’d prefer drowning him in it.
But I guess it was my entire fault all these were happening. Danny was not a Christian. If I had believed that he was, I had only tried to create an illusion. He wasn’t even close to Salvation and I had allowed him gain access to my life and I was glad I hadn’t lost the only self-respect I had left.
I don’t know what I would have done if I had fallen into temptation and I was hearing this after the whole ordeal.
And like scales falling from my eyes, I began to see myself as a compromising personality due to insecurity and fear.
Danny did not love me and would never love me and as for what I was feeling, I had allowed myself get carried away so easily and I should never have suppressed my feelings for him, rather I should have disposed them and incinerated them, never to remember again, but right in one side of my heart, I had kept him like a good luck charm.

         I was grateful to God that I could walk over to one of those shops that indicated where to make calls. Eyes were no longer blurry but I could tell they were red but I ignored the look on the face of the woman who was going to charge me for the call.
I dialed the familiar number that had been in my head for so long
“Hello?’ my sister’s voice suddenly sounded like a life line
“Temi…’I croaked. ‘It’s Moyo”
There was silence for a while and I thought she was going to yell at me or say something to gloat but I guessed wrong. I bet she had learned to recognize that needy voice over the years and she didn’t need to ask further
“I’m coming home.”
“I’m not at home” I stammered and I could feel the tears coming again. I shouldn’t be intruding her married life but here I was calling like a 5 year old child who needed her mother.
“Where are you?’
I explained to her I was on the Island and gave her the name of the resort. The Temi I knew didn’t need to ask for the address. It was like she knew everywhere in Lagos.
“In the restroom.’ I concluded. ‘’I’m not strong enough to stay out that long.”
Before she dropped the phone, she comforted me with these few words…
“Hang in there Kiddo. I’ll be there to get you.’’

            It felt like hours when Temi finally arrived and I felt extremely disappointed that Danny didn’t even take much time looking for me although I knew I shouldn’t. I was glad the restroom was suitable and comfortable enough for me to stay that long although I had migrated to the women’s restroom. 
The only thing I could do was hug her fiercely as more tears came unbidden again. She released me after a while and held my face to look into my eyes.
“You look like one of those celebrities who’s had a bad day on stage.’
I laughed amidst the tears and allowed her kiss me to comfort me. That was Temi. She knew how to break the ice.
“Where’s your bag?”
“I left it with Danny.’’
‘’I caught a glimpse of the peacock when I was coming towards the restroom. I never knew he had grown horns.” She joked and winked at me. ‘You’re coming with me. I’’ll get your bag and we’ll walk right out before him and there’s nothing he can do about it…ummm’’
I nodded and watched her pull my hand while we headed toward our resort.
Danny stood up immediately on seeing the both of us and I could see the confused look on his face. I glanced at his friend who had a slight frown and I could tell he was surprised to see the transformation on my face and hair.
I had no words for him
Temi did all the talking though
“Moyo’s bag.’ She didn’t need to explain further as she stretched her hand to grab the familiar handle from the chair I had vacated like about one and a half hour ago.
“What’s going on?’’ Danny asked me looking confused
“She has a phobia for men like you.” Temi gave him her sweet smile and held my other hand. “I don’t need to explain symptoms because as you can see quite clearly, it’s written all over her face.”
“And you are?’’
“Her one and only sister…, nice to meet you.”
And with that, we walked into her car and drove off.
Boy!!!...i couldn’t tell you how relieved I was. I was like a bird that had just been freed from its cage ready to flap my wings and fly…
      Softly, Nelly Furtado’s song crooned softly in my head…”I’m like a bird, I wanna fly away.”
The only difference between Nelly’s song and my version was I knew where my Home was and I knew where my soul was.
It was time for redemption