Friday, 25 January 2013

Traffic Lights


Have you ever wondered at the way God links things together in your mind and the light bulb just pops up and you know this is something extra-ordinary?

Imagine a road without traffic lights.

I grew up in a neighborhood close to the University of Lagos for many years as a child and I do remember there was a particular junction that lacked traffic lights at that time.
Believe me when I tell you it was horrible getting to the other side of the road where the two roads meet.

At a time like 7:30 to 8am when you need to get to school, that junction is as tight as the word itself and you could spend an hour on that particular road.

What was the reason for all the lateness and drama? Commotion

That junction lacked something. It had a man who tried to control the movement of cars trying to get to the other part of the road at the same time. Imagine a crossroad linking four different routes just to take one route leading to the university road!!

Such great commotion!!

And some years later, I’m back to that neighborhood and there’s just something different this time around.

It was so obvious

It had traffic lights

And right there, just right there at that moment when I saw the ease traffic lights provided, the light bulb came up.

That is exactly what the Holy Spirit does. Without him, life would be total chaos

Commotion and misdirection everywhere

A little fight here and there, coupled with all sorts of verbal assaults.

You could spend so much unnecessary time trying to get across a very important junction whereas, if you had the Spirit or paid attention to Him, you needn’t spend your whole life on the bus stop.

The HolySpirit is our traffic light
We refuse to obey and we end up facing the consequences.

I remembered a movie I watched a while back and it explained it further.
The Matrix
Two different worlds.  The matrix was the world they could do wonders (the computer) while they were plugged to a certain source that provided that ability.

That plug had better not be removed cos you’d die.

Some people died in the matrix when their plugs were removed.

The Holy Spirit is your plug. You just have to stay connected or you’d die. Period!

I guess that was what probably happened to me. I paid attention to the flesh. It happens though.
Jesus cried. ‘’Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani..meaning “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’’Matt 27v46

The flesh cried out at that moment of his life.
So did mine in my last post.

and do not be drunk with wine which is dissipation but be filled with the Spirit” Ephesians  5v18
I have the best thing I can ever have in this life. I have Jesus in me and I have to keep telling myself that!!
that you put off concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness’’ Ephesians 4v22-24

Its so easy to be like Peter. You’re walking on the water and then you see everything looking so overwhelming forgetting you have someone who’s there to hold you when you’re drowning.

You don’t need to struggle

Just look up to him.
And never get disconnected.
Never drop your gaze from his
And always obey the traffic light.
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts’’ Romans 13v14
So not easy, but by God’s grace, I’ll walk in the light Christ has provided. In your light we see light

PS: For the wonderful people who checked up on me and showed me what a hug or hugs are all about in my last post, I Love you. I really do. Your hugs warmed me up and showed me the meaning of friendship.
Krazan, northern girl, sykik, toin, tomi, lola,dayor, ibhade, feyi, aloted and che
Your words were like honey drops.
Feyi, your music prescription was wonderful. I think you should be a music doctor..xoxo

Friday, 18 January 2013



I haven’t cried in this New Year, I’m trying to hold it all together. I feel quite better now
Its been a while. Well, not really cos I cried so much last year at what the words of dagger thrown at me by someone I cared so much about.

I imagine people being like music and the lyrics are what you really want to say to them. I don’t want to hurt them, but I want to tell them how I feel through the song I choose.

Why is it that people you care so much about are the ones who least care about you or rather, are not the ones who end up saying the soothing words you need to hear at a certain time of your life?

Am I that vulnerable?

I hope not

Someone says I’m getting better. Well, you wanna know the story of my former blog?.. I think I have the answer now, for those who care to hear.

It just wasn’t “it’’

I got scared.

That should be enough for now

It had a little darkness in it. The things I wrote when I felt I should just say how I feel, not knowing anything about this sort of comment and readers stuff.

Mindshade. Love God. Hate the dark side.

Puskov told me I’m getting better. I’m not the girl I used to be or rather, I’m starting to relate more with people and overcome my fears of getting too close to people.

But I realize I get too close and I end up falling flat

I fell today. Literally though. While walking since I was about to get something to eat. And due to the kind of person I was, I wanted to just run away to someplace.

And I did run…
Still, I didn’t cry..
Big girls don’t cry.

But they cut deep and swallow the pain. And that was what I did throughout today. Ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Bhollu walks confidently, like she owns the road. I walk pretty fast, and today when I walked fast, I tripped, lost balance and fell like a careless child.

Who was I running from by the way?

I’m going to watch my steps next time and walk like Bhollu, so that I don’t fall.

Or rather, I’d like someone to talk to while walking on the road. So that I’d walk more carefully

Walk like a lady!!...Act like one!!! They yell.
 I grew up among boys
I want to get a new Rx Coat

I’m sitting in the bus on my way home, and I sit by the window cos I just love the view from there. I can think and I can read blogs. But battery dies and I’m left to stare at the woman hanging the slippery fish on the road to sell and how slimy they look.

Ears plugged and all I can listen to is Simon Webbe’s Lay your hands and After all this time.

I don’t know how in the world they relate to me but It makes me remember a friend I had in school who introduced me to this artiste.

Our friendship didn't really work out...

Simon Webbe is black. If Kemi could check out what I was currently listening to, she’d call me black.

She thinks I’m white in a black skin.

Not the first person to say that to me anyway.
Jojo plays next and I wish I could just scream like her!!!!...
But I’d get tied up if I’m not careful. And then I remember the rate at which prescriptions from the Neuropsychiatric ward come Into the Pharmacy and I know that I don’t wanna know how antipsychotics and antidepressants taste like. LOL

And so I just stare and cover both ears while I imagine myself jumping on a bouncy mattress. I wanna jump high and bounce on the huge bed just for it to throw me back into the air.

I wanna run to that swing and have my best friend push me till I scream and laugh.

I just wanna be happy, not sink into the old me. the moody, quiet and secretive me.

The tears sting but I hold it back. 
“Shhhh” you shouldn’t do that in a bus for goodness sakes!!

The BRT is about to come to a halt at my bus stop and I’m back to reality.

I stroll to the door and I can tell the ticketeer is looking at my “look-alike dreads”

I have to loosen it. I didn’t intend on it becoming that way.
The bike man says something and I crack a smile after a while.

I get home and stepping inside the gate, I can hear the door to my house opening.

That’s how quiet the place I live is.

Someone is home, and its my mum. She opens right from when she hears the gate opening.

I can tell she’s concerned about what I went through today and she wants to offer her shoulder
I’m grateful to God for that.

By the way, this happened Yesterday.

Memoirs of a vulnerable Child

Thursday, 3 January 2013

God bless the day i found you

hey you
hey me

thank God for you and Me

thank God for blogging...

thank God for the day i found you guys

and thank you all for being part of my 2012.
so many kinds of humans exist out there including species like me

I realized the crazy but fun ones don't exist outside blogsville but inside as well and when you need a


whole lotta drama, just come over to the other side...
cos blogsville, right here, is where you get reality, fantasy, drama and all of it

shake it with a little jazz sometimes

I've lived, loved, laughed and wondered right here thanks to you guys
i've seen the passion in people when they write..their passion for God, for life, the emotions they try so hard to conceal but just end up spilling out everything on a post like splashing paint on a clean canvas and i've seen empathy, sympathy and love.

Love still exists. sometimes with everything going on around, its so easy to doubt but i guess it still does.
you might not find it in a 3D dream or Transformers 3D but in reality and in this world where God still watches over us, it exists
Don't let Satan put out your light!!**i'm gonna let it shine

there's a saying where we are told if people don't add to you, you delete them.
just like i deleted someone and when he called i was like huh? oh!!..i did?
hehehe...classic expression that when replied with sarcasm, you dont have the right to slap the person or eye the person
just pop your eyes out and stare like.. ''lets pretend we didn't have this conversation..''

well, good news cos you guys have added and so you're sticking this time.
if i start mentioning everyone, it would be a long something and so....
ngbati ko n se ibi la fe sun si...lool

I told you i was gonna come back with something for you guys.
it's not a parcel, neither is it something wrapped in a box but i believe its so much more...
cos when i listen to it, i think of you guys.
and so, please listen along with me..

an old friend told me to listen to it while I was still in school.., and then i loved the song and i pass it down to people who mean much to me.

kk..., "End of tales by moonlight"lool
lets just hear the song

P.S: lest i forget!...Happy belated birthday Simply Me..wishing you a wonderful additional year.
sometimes, i imagine you on fire when i read your posts.hehehe
i hope you enjoy the song too as part of buydae gift...