journal of an "Old flame" IV

I was only Eight years old then but i remember quite clearly all the stuffs i did with Addie but there were two that really shook my world. Thats what i feel like writing anyway and so i dont care if the other side of me wants to forget it and move on. i have moved on...No doubt but i reflect and i'm like gosh!!!...what if i had grown up alone with Her, what would i have turned to
Date?....nahhh...i hate dating my journals, they make me go through all my old calenders and i feel worse.
Is a journal meant to make you feel better, or act like a companion?
i'll stick with the latter, don't even have many friends
         I was introduced to Addie as my cousin a year before i clocked eight and at that moment of the introduction, i knew there would be a day i would be asked to spend a long series of holiday over at their place especially since Temi had gone to the boarding House at that time. Temi's education was quite earlier than mine and i wasn't envious. i just felt she was a genius and thought like one.
as for me, i don't even leave my bed organized for once and clothes hang about my room like a boy's locker room.

         Addie and i were alike in those terms but she took hers on the high side. she acted like a cat sometimes and eating like a mouse is an understatement.
i lived with her family for a month while my parents had their disagreement ish and she became my best friend and cousin at that time of my life. i was the quiet one, and felt propelled to do what i was supposed to do. she was the only child and so she could afford to be rebellious to her parents.
to me, i had seen her as a spoiled child who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth
the first thing i remember her doing was sneaking into the liquor room to get something. i was so young then and so i wasn't sure what she was up to and so i pretended to be watching Tv, but that was before she headed straight to the kitchen in the fridge and brought out a bottle of fanta. she took one for herself and gave me one.

''thank you.'' i greeted. it wasn't a strange thing that she had access to everything in the fridge and she could make a choice.
i wasn't given such liberty at my House. just one look from my parents and i would go scrambling to my room
i noticed she held another bottle.
"Calyp.......'' i squinted my eyes to get a good look at the bottle but she blurted out confidently. ''Calypso. it's a coconut drink.'' she poured her drink into a glasscup and added some of the strange coconut drink into her fanta
"it looks funny sort of.'' i replied doubting her reply especially when i could sense she wasn't totally honest with me
"well, why don't you have a taste and tell me what you think?'' she took a large gulp of her drink from the glasscup and i can tell she's been doing this for a long time
i shake my head without uttering a word. i must have looked like a dumb child back then
''c'mon! its not like i'm giving you poison.'' she smiles at me and hands me the rest of her drink. i have a very sharp nose and so at t slight scent of something pungent, i give it back to her.
she pushes it back into my hand. ''c'mon Moyo!!!just a sip and you'll see i told you so. it's delicious''
I inhale deeply and take a sip as she says. its a little sharp on my tongue and i forget the taste of Fanta for a while. she pushes the drink further down my throat and i keep drinking, almost lost in some form of ecstasy!having a peppery feeling afterwards...i had never felt that way before and i keep drinking till i can see the end of my glass.
"wow!'' i sigh licking my lip half consciously and smiled at her. she smiled back at me like she's initiated me into some form of group and from there, we graduated to Schanpps. that day was horrible because it started with a small cover and then i took like four caps of the strong alcoholic drink and i stopped seeing clearly.
everything looked blurry and i closed my eyes, trying to open them again just to feel myself stagger.
I could hear Addie laughing and i laughed with her too. it was fun at first. we drinking the forbidden drink and laughing and having the fun i'd never had with Temi.
it was an exciting new experience and i felt like floating, but i did the opposite of that and fell to the floor

I woke up to hiccups. oh gosh! how i hated hiccups! and i realized Addie's parents were back and she had cleared everything. they didn't suspect anything but they were partially worried about my hiccups. i was too ashamed to look at them in the face and they didn't sense anything wrong with that either
How could parents be so ignorant and non chalant, couldn't they smell anything?
it was later i found out Addie had told them some form of lie and she had covered up my mess.
she said i threw up a little. just a little, she emphasized.
that girl was doing things that were more matured than her age and i hoped she wouldn't get worse
as for now, she has mellowed on the drinking but still takes one or two at times.
i worry for her and i pray for her

The second thing she introduced me to was cigarretes. she had returned to the house excited about something and then leading me to her room upstairs, she brought out the brand of cigarettes with a lighter.
i remembered that particular brand because when we watched our favorite soap operas like "Lady of The Rose", "Wild Rose" and "The Rich also Cry", they always advertised it with that Lighthouse family song i had fallen in love with years ago, even when i was unaware of the lyrics.
''Tobi gave it to me.'' she whispered excitedly and turned on the lighter while all i could do was watch dumbly. (Tobi was the boy living next door and a rebellious one for sure)i knew it was meant only for adults and she had probably seen what her Father did but that evil side of me wanted to relish the fact that i put that cigarette stick on my lips, saw the smoke coming out from the other end and then my mouth. i knew i had to inhale...i knew that by watching too much of TV but reality was right before me.
She took a puff and coughed a little. she recovered almost immediately and passed it to me watching me as if to say..."don't disappoint me Moyo.''
i took a puff and thought i would choke and probably collapse on the floor but i surprised myself and took a short puff. holding the stick within my fingers made me feel like an adult and a bold one. something in me was awakening, growing wings. wings i could never grow when i was with my family or in my class sitting in my class like a docile human being. i felt like running and i felt so on top of the world.

It was then i realized there was something more to the cigarette than i had thought.

Addie never told me till today and i know i've never taken weed before in my life to detect if that was what was mixed in our supposed-to-be cigarrete brand but i knew what it made you feel. that thing i smoked had made me feel happy like i was on opium. i felt what i had never felt before in my life but it was short term but ohhh!!!...it was as if i was flying, like i was in that my favorite cartoon..Carebears!!!....where the clouds carried them or rather they lived in the clouds
"we're home.'' Addie announces and breaks into my thought. i park the car and sigh. she stretches over and picks the grocery nylons from the back seat and smiles at me mischieviously, eyes twitching.
"we have the whole day to ourselves honey..., and so better start getting ready to fill me in on some of that your stale gist.''
she gets down from the car and leave me to my thoughts.....